Snow Guts, Snow Glory

3 02 2009

This just in: Our city has been gripped by a mysterious, frightening condition known as ‘Winter.’

This also just in: Winter increases the risk of white, fluffy icy-like particles falling from the sky, a phenomenon known as ‘Snow’.

And now, for this late breaking news: Snow poses a clear and present danger to children. And teachers. And all vehicles on all roads. And therefore, due to impending snow-related disaster, there will be no school today.

I got up this morning with the intention of writing a thoughtful, insightful post about some thoughtful, insightful parenting issues. But all that got tossed out the window and into the horrid fluffy whiteness  for the sake of a good old fashioned rant. About effing winter and effing snow, and effing school boards canceling effing school because of a bit of effing snow in the middle of the effing winter.

Last night, in my magnanimous magnificence, I told Mr that he could sleep in this morning. I would single handedly handle getting Neener and Roo ready for school while he got some much deserved extra shut-eye. And I did. Amidst changing poopy diapers and taking care of other assorted school-related administrative details,  I managed to get Neener and Roo mostly adequately fed, dressed, washed, and brushed all on my own. Mr. got up just in time to embark on the toboggan ride to school. Looked like a great day for it. Nice and warm, with some light flurries drifting down from the heavens. He laughed and said, ‘Hey, are you sure there’s school? It is snowing.’ It was funny because our school board has set a precedent lately of canceling school based on weather forecasts that are dubious, at best. Completely fictional, at worst. I laughed as I shuffled them all out the door, eager to spend a few minutes playing Hop Little Bunnies with Squiggles before settling down to work for the morning. Then, I thought, just to be safe, I’d better call the cancellation hotline. It seemed ludicrous. So ludicrous that I laughed at myself as I facetiously dialed the number. But I did it anyway just to make absolute sure. We’ve been caught off guard more than once with this whole Surprise! Snow Day thing. And whaddyaknow. School was, indeed, canceled. Impending weather, the serious sounding voice on the other end of  the cancellation hotline claimed. So I poked my head out into the impending weather, which to me looked an awful lot like a nice, slightly snowy winter morning, and I hollered for Mr. and the kids to come back. They could barely make out the words “God damn school is canceled!” because my shock was manifesting as maniacal laughter. As it so often does.

Which begs the question: When did we become such paranoid pussies? Since when is the possibility of snow, even a few substantial inches, and some slushy driving reason enough to call off school for the entire day? I’m not old enough to pull the ol’ ‘When I was your age I walked 15 miles to school, through four feet of snow year-round, up-hill both ways,’ but I am old enough to pull the ol’ ‘ When I was your age, reasonably sound scientific studies had shown that neither children nor school buses nor education professionals were made of sugar, and therefore if exposed to precipitation, it was generally agreed that they would not dissolve.’  And they only canceled school when it was a blizzard fo’ shizzard. Certainly not because the weather girl on Live at Five said it might start snowing sometime in the next 24-48 hours. Or because – gasp! Horror of horrors! – there was already actual snow falling from the actual sky and landing on the actual ground and possibly, even landing on actual children! Lord help us!

Luckily, our family is not in a position where a school cancellation plunges us into panic, scrambling for childcare, or missing work. We can go with the snow flow. Others are not so lucky. We simply adjusted our plans for the day. Instead of working this morning, I enlisted the kids to help me clean the basement. And instead of playing nine rounds of Hop Little Bunnies with Squiggles, and farting around on facebook all afternoon, we painted Valentines boxes and learned how to make mango lassi and had a beach party and sang Blondie songs together.

This just in: My kids would rather spend the day goofing off with their family than pulling on their effing snowsuits to trek through the effing snow only to sit through another effing day of  effing school in the middle of the effing winter.

And come to think of it, so would I. As long as I can get some sort of guarentee that tomorrow’s not gonna be a snow day too.

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3 responses

3 02 2009
mammasaidtome

Don’t bet the farm on that last comment. I seem to remember a couple of little kids who loved snow days. My worst thing was when they’d call it at noon and I wouldn’t let the kids get on the bus unless they had somebody home or a predesignated place to go.Remember Teachers have nothing todo with the calling off of school. They just enjoy it the most!

4 02 2009
Lisa

Last year I called the TDSB because our son’s school was cancelled one wintery day and told them it was utterly ridonkulous. I mean, really! Safety first and all that but as you say, we’re all getting a wee paranoid, are we not?!

Let’s all just get in the car and move to Hawaii.

4 02 2009
trish

snow day, my 12 year old has agreed to switch school so she can take a bus and have an effing snow day, when I was a kid, we had them all the time, especially the one in April 77, when we slept at the school and went home at 1 am in the moonlight by snowmobile. Somehow snow days are so much more fun when you are a kid… too bad we live in toronto.
cheers

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