This is A Call

10 12 2008

When Mrs. Blister is sober ready, she’ll tell you all about the Christmas Holiday Concert we attended yesterday. I was going to tell you myself but The Boss vetoed me to keep the best story ideas for herself we agreed it was best left to her.

I will, however, put my life on the line to say this: Opening a Christmas Holiday Concert with a tone-deaf choir droning singing several unaccompanied verses of “So This is Christmas” unleashes a fierce internal debate about the merits of murder vs suicide vs murder/suicide doesn’t get the crowd as energized as you may think.

Anyway… After re-reading my last post, it seems I may have opened my big fat mouth about things I really don’t know suggested that I have some domestic wisdom to share. Also, I asked you to comment on my posts so that I don’t curl up into a ball of booze soaked self loathing know someone out there cares.

Well, you didn’t comment (Moms excluded) and I’m petty and insecure eager to engage you, the reader, so I’ll make a list of some of my ideas, and you goddamn better well post a comment to tell me which ones you want me to elaborate on.

1. “The Art of Complaining for Fun and Profit”

2. “There’s Only One Correct Way to Wash Dishes”

3. “Don’t Try to Tell Your Wife She Doesn’t Know How to Wash Dishes”

4.  “Waste Management: 6 Different Garbage Bags to Freedom”

5. “Sweep it up Now, or Pull it Out of the Baby’s Mouth Later”

Now, just in case there’s nothing on this list that piques your interest, you may also post a comment about: how I inspire you to do great things, or how I inspire you to do fewer bad things, or how much you miss Mrs. Blister. You may also ask me a question and I will twist your words and make fun of you strive to answer it.

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8 responses

10 12 2008
domesticblister

My dear sweet Mr, please give us a glimpse of the hilarious world of domestic waste management. God knows I could use a laugh that is not tense and maniacal and followed by the words “Sorry, Your Honour.”
And thank you for stepping in to fill the void left by my present state of sucking at writing.

10 12 2008
Jody

I vote for #2!!! You and those dishes!!

10 12 2008
Jane

I vote for doing dishes the right way(My Way),also maybe how to do laundry the right way (my way)…his way includes putting all colours in at once,and leaving the tangled mess of clothes that now needs ironed in the basket for me to fold and put away….His only saving grace is the 3am baby feedings….i’ll show my Mr the instructions……

10 12 2008
Teaching Kids Yoga

I too would like to know the correct way to do the dishes. I don’t know how I’ve managed thus far.

But just in case I’m already doing them the right way – I would also like to know how to complain for profit.

11 12 2008
roxferry

I think that trying to tell your wife how to do the dishes would be very interesting but remember that the holidays are coming up and there are millions of dishes.You would have ample opportunity to show her “the right way”.I am sure she would be very happy to sit on the floor with the girls and play dolls or color while you “teach” her.So Mr. Blister you have two choices:
1. Keep your mouth closed (till after the holidays) and tell her what a wonderful shine she puts on those dishes.
2. Write your post now and put your hands where your mouth is

But please remember you have been well warned….oops I mean well informed 🙂

11 12 2008
Mr. Blister

Roxferry,

Maybe I should explain. The Mrs. doesn’t do the dishes. Not that she won’t, and occasionally she does sneaks into the kitchen while I’m “asleep” and gives them a go… The truth is, I’ve been the head dish washer for many years now so luckily I don’t have to tell her what she’s doing wrong!!

Much Love, Mr. Blister

ps, Just in case, give us a call a few days after I post. Make sure you hear my voice. If the Mrs. says I’m “unavailable”, call the cops.

11 12 2008
K

I want to hear about the one correct way to wash dishes, but I also want to know how it went when you told the Mrs. she doesn’t know the proper dish-washing method.

11 12 2008
Mr. Blister

K,

I have never told the Mrs. she doesn’t know something.

Mr.B

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