Cold Comforts

7 04 2008

And now, from the bad mommy files: I sent the kids to school today. Generally, that would not be filed under bad mommy, but it is today because they have colds. We all have colds. Nothing serious, just mega-booger noses and a little cough. They still have enough energy to jump on the furniture, ask me which dinosaurs lived in which period and whether they are carnivores, herbivores, or omnivores (even though they already know the bloody answer and delight in telling me I’m wrong when I hazard a guess), and to argue about who is going to be Amethyst and who will be Bloodstone when they play Gemstone Friends (yeah, my kids are big geeks. I’ll elaborate on that another day.) Yes, they have colds but they’re otherwise fine. It’s not like they have The Barfies. Why shouldn’t I send them to school? Well, because the school asked me not to. Not me specifically, all the parents of kids in Kindergarten. The teacher sent a note home in January asking that you “Please keep you child home if he or she is sick. (i.e. sneezing, coughing, runny nose.)” Check, check and double check. Yet out the door they went. Now normally, I would have kept them home out of respect for the poor teacher, who has enough to deal with without the Blister Twins snotting all over her. But today I just couldn’t. I need a break. We are on the heels of a few weeks where we’ve had a few too many ‘vacations’, and it is beginning to drive me nuts. First there was a round of The Barfies for which I did keep them home for a few days. Then that heinous week long March Break thing. Followed by a four day Easter weekend. And this Friday was a PA day, which i believe is abbreviated code for PArty Day, when all the teachers congregate at the student-free school, and break out the Karaoke machine and tequila shots in the gym, and the psychedelic opium den in the library.

So now, bright and early on Monday morning, they get my snotty nosed kids. Well, 2 out of 3 of my snotty nosed kids. Baby Squiggles is still home, but dealing with her when she has a cold is easy, in the daylight hours anyway. That’s when she prefers to sleep off any illness because God knows she doesn’t do it at night. And that’s another reason I sent Neener and Roo to school. I need some quality time with sleeping Squiggles. Sweet, immobile, non-verbal, non-combative, non-annoying sleeping Squiggles. Sending my whiny boogery kids off to school and out of my face for a few hours while I bask in the silence of a sleeping infant is my version of a Mental Health Day. My vacation.

In a couple of hours, I’ll wake Squiggles up and head down to the school to pick up Neener and Roo. The teacher will probably tell me that they have bad colds, that I should have kept them home. I’ll feign surprise and agree, and chirp optimistically that I hope they are better tomorrow. Then I’ll stop at Shopper’s Drugmart on the way home and buy a bottle of children’s cough and cold medicine. The stuff that dries up snot and hushes coughs for a few hours. The stuff that the FDA warns you not give your kids because they aren’t sure it’s 100% safe. And tomorrow morning, if it’s still booger-o-rama in the Blister household, I’ll line Neener and Roo up, give them a dose of the grape-flavoured haz mat and send them merrily on their way to school to tell the teacher that their colds are all better. There. Now I can safely stick this in the bad mommy files.

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